Royal Rumble ‘25 Recap - Undisputed WWE Championship, Cody Rhodes vs Kevin Owens, Ladder Match
Up next, beloved champion vs the best t-shirt game in town as Cody Rhodes puts the Undisputed WWE Championship on the line against *checks notes* Kevin Owens’ Fisher-Price Playtime Birdy Belt in a ladder match. Off the bat, I have to tip my hat to Wingstop for sponsoring a match featuring the Winged Eagle belt - sometimes capitalism is pretty funny.
It doesn’t take long before the action spills out of the ring in to the crowd where Cody goes for a favourite of ours here at Nothing Rhymes With Kayfabe - the stolen beer from someone in the crowd to the face of KO.
These hipster bars with their experimental ways of serving drinks are really getting out of hand.
We brawl our way back to the ring where KO makes a couple of unsuccessful attempts at climbing the ladder in the middle of the ring. There’s a stepladder in the ring as well, which prompts Michael Cole to make a Hornswoggle reference in the year of our lord 2025.
The saddest reset.
Cody then plays the ‘mum said it’s my turn to climb the ladder’ card and takes his own shot, where he makes it to the top and gets his hands to the belts, but he’s knocked off balance and is forced to grab hold of the rope the titles are suspended from so he doesn’t fall.
Alexa, play Wrecking Ball by Miley Cyrus.
When he swings back to the ladder, KO meets him and manages to get him back to the mat before he can dislodge the belts and win. As KO makes another attempt to climb with Cody pinned under the ladder, Cody basically starts bench pressing the ladder to get him off.
I hate it when I go to the gym and there’s some guy there just doing too much. Like, who’s it for bro?
KO gets enough momentum to set Cody up for a Package Piledriver but Cody’s seen this one before, and manages to counter by attempting to puncture KO's Spleen and Lungs with a back body drop on to a ladder on the ground.
Pretty sure when God invented spines, she did not intend for them to bend that way.
KO recovers and sets up a fun little ladder bridge from the bottom rope to the ladder in the centre of the ring, which I’m sure is just a cute little decorative project and won’t be used for anything nefarious.
Ok well I’ll just go fuck myself then.
As both men are being attended to by doctors and officials, Sami Zayn pops up. You know, just to see what all everyone’s up to. KO stumbles to his feet, still hellbent on winning this thing, and lines Cody up for a Stunner, which Cody counters into Cross Rhodes. KO rolls out of the ring but manages to grab Cody’s foot to stop him climbing the ladder. Cody joins him on the floor where he introduces KO’s face to The Career Ender 9000 Super Inflexible Commentary Desk.
Sami’s in the background going ‘dude these things are supposed to break!’
KO manages to get Cody up on to The Career Ender 9000 Super Inflexible Commentary Desk where he once again sets up for a Package Piledriver, but Cody counters by getting KO on his back and hitting an Alabama Slam onto a ladder that had been set up earlier between the ring and desk. It’s one of those spots that is so well executed and hits so hard that everyone on commentary is quiet for a couple of seconds because there’s a chance that KO might actually be dead.
As you might guess, this gives Cody enough time to get back into the ring, retrieve his title and this one is wrapped.
Shout out to whoever was directing this. This shot goes hard.
Cody may have walked out of Lucas Oil Stadium with his title, but honestly? I think Kevin Owens might be the best wrestler going at the moment. By the way, it is WILD that in 2025 we had a match where a weirdly high percentage of the commentary time was dedicated to calling KO fat or unfit under the guise of talking about his ‘physique’. Miss me with that shit.