Elimination Chamber '25 - Unsanctioned Match, Kevin Owens vs Sami Zayn
No count outs. No disqualifications. No rules.
Tonight, the next (and maybe final?) chapter in a twenty-plus year friendship that has had an incredible amount of twists and turns, and has delivered some of the best moments in WWE in recent years. The lights are out, the scene is set, and it’s time for Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn to settle their current beef, one way or another.
First things first: right at the top of the PPV we were shown a shot of KO coming into the arena, gathering weaponry ostensibly to beat the piss out of Sami with. He put these things in a backpack. KO then enters the match without the backpack. WHERE IS THE BACKPACK. WHO’S ON CONTINUITY WATCH. I NEED ANSWERS.
There seems to be genuine tension and emotion in the air as we get underway. KO gets out to a very strong start, making light work of Sami initially. Sami is knocked down by a handful of chair shots, and as he is trying to get to his feet, KO looks for another but Sami manages to dodge it, causing the chair to bounce off the top rope and hit KO in the face.
Me sowing: Haha fuck yeah!!! Yes!! Me reaping:
Sami takes this opportunity to pick up a chair of his own and deliver a few shots to KO, which causes him to roll out of the ring and cling to The Career Ender 9000 Super Inflexible Commentary Desk for dear life. Unfortunately even that can’t save him, as Sami throws him back into the ring and goes searching underneath it for more weapons. Because we’re in Canada, he finds a hockey stick. After he gets a few shots in with it, Sami drags a table out from under the ring to thunderous applause.
While Sami is trying to set up, KO manages to get to his feet and roll out of the ring. He grabs the stick and delivers a little payback.
This is the future liberals want.
After he gets his shots in, he notices the table that Sami set up and pulls out a second table and sets it up on top of the first.
At this point in the match KO has the same look in his eye that I get when it’s 10:28am but the kid behind the counter at McDonald’s won’t let me order breakfast.
After taking a spin through the crowd, during which there are zero instances of either wrestler grabbing a drink out of the hand of someone in the crowd and smashing it into the face of the other but there is an instance of Sami shoving an empty garbage can over KO’s head and pushing him around, the action heads back to the ring. KO climbs to the top turnbuckle and Sami meets him there. They trade blows and KO manages to slip under Sami, and shove him off the top rope and through the two tables that were set up earlier.
This is tonight’s The Commentary Team Is Very Quiet Because There’s A Good Chance That Guy Is Actually DeadTM spot.
KO pulls Sami from the wreckage and gets him back into the ring. There’s a chair in the center of the ring, and KO gathers Sami and delivers a brain buster through said chair. KO attempts a cover, but somehow Sami kicks out.
If you work in customer service, you should legally be allowed to do this to one customer a month.
They make it back to their feet, and Sami manages to get two suplexes in on KO, one of which is also through the chair. KO stumbles to a corner, and Sami gets into the opposite corner and starts to line him up for a Helluva Kick, but as he’s sprinting across the ring KO pulls the ref in front of him and Sami hits him instead. KO drags Sami to the center of the ring and deliver a Stunner and pins Sami, but the ref is out cold. Another official sprints to the ring and manages a two count before Sami kicks out.
KO sets up a table in the ring and lays Sami out, with a chair on his chest. As KO climbs to the top turnbuckle, Sami sits up and gets off the table and climbs the ropes to meet him. Sami attempts a Superplex, but KO counters and Sami gets a Fisherman’s Buster through the table.
KO rolls on top of Sami for a very weak cover, and he gets a two count before Sami kicks out once again.
Or you can do this. Dealer’s choice.
Ignoring the pleading of the officials at ringside to stop the match, KO picks Sami up and props him up in a corner. As he goes to the opposite corner to line up a body slam, Sami follows KO and surprises him with a Helluva Kick. Sami rolls on top of KO for the cover, but KO also kicks out at two.
With a slight wind in his sails, Sami goes fishing under the ring once more and this time, he finds a barbed-wire wrapped chair. He gets some shots in on KO before setting the chair up, at which point KO charges him and Sami does a Drop Toe Hold and KO goes face first into the barbed wire.
KO is selling this better than any football player I’ve ever seen selling a foul. I hope they’re taking notes.
While KO is writhing in pain, Sami sets up the barbed wire chair as a bridge between two other chairs, and delivers a Blue Thunder Bomb to KO right on top of them. With KO in a corner, Sami attempts a Helluva Kick but KO catches him in mid flight and counters into a Pop-Up Power Bomb. Sami sells this by bouncing out of the ring and almost into the first row of the crowd.
KO follows him out of the ring where more officials have shown up to plead for Sami’s life. KO ignores them, and Powerbombs Sami neck first into the apron twice for good measure. KO rolls Sami back into the ring and climbs in and pins him. I hope this isn’t the last time we see these two in the ring together, because they truly make magic whenever they go to work.
KO is being herded from the ring by the crowd of officials but he decides Sami’s neck isn’t broken enough and shrugs them off to go back on the attack. He peels back the protective padding on the floor around the ring and sets Sami up for a piledriver, but before he can hit the move, Randy Orton’s music hits!
KO has that same look on his face as a kid who just heard their Mum get home from work and realised they forgot to take the Chicken out of the freezer.
Randy hits an RKO on KO and picks up a chair. As he looks to beat KO with it, he has second thoughts and throws the chair aside and adjusts his knee pads. That can only mean one thing, and Randy backs up into the corner and looks ready to kick KO’s face clean off his shoulders. As he runs towards KO, he is intercepted by security and KO rolls out of the ring and gets away. Randy hits some RKOs on the security holding him back for good measure, and this story suddenly looks a long way from over.
